Blame Hakim Bey and Crass. Blame Unsound, Hedfuk and Acme soundsystems. Blame South London and rising rent, or if you can’t be arsed to do any research and write for the Guardian, blame !WOWOW! Whatever, squatting’s on the up. This is a piece sharing a few tips on how YOU, yes YOU can get a slice of the free mansion pie.
If you’ve read this far then I’m assuming you’re already interested in breaking a place for one of various reasons. As such I won’t bother going into the history or philosophy of reclaiming dead space. This is about the practical’s; the tools and knowledge you need to storm the castle and begin the siege.
First of all (obvious this one) you need a building. There are empty buildings everywhere. As a rule of thumb, the viler and more run down an area, the more empty buildings. This leads to a mental equation where you have to offset the potential amazingness of, say, a towering fully furnished 20s dancehall with the fact its in West Norwood and surrounded by mental bastards. Generally, unless you’re a mental bastard too, it’s best to stay out of places that are too hardcore. Your neighbours will hate you for paying no rent (even if none of them ever have either), and will either rob you, extort you, or burn your house down. Whilst squatting in Lewisham our neighbours did the first two and threatened the third. I’m not joking here.
Also, ask yourself if you really need a massive gaff? This boils down to what you’re squatting for. If you want a venue to hold fuck off ridiculous parties where you know 5% of the people in the building then THINK BIG. The bigger the building, the bigger the crew you’ll need to hold it and sort out its repulsive shit smeared interior, and don’t even think of trying to live there. This country is too cold to handle a no-heating winter. (Although if you find a place with a working boiler and you don’t mind being a criminal, you could always register the gas in a fake name and then get the fuck out of dodge when the bailiffs come knocking. I wouldn’t recommend this, even though it works.)
If you’re looking for something slightly more exclusive then littler is often better, especially when you’re just starting, and doubly especially if you want to actually live in the space — it means you need less people to rely on and less shit to clean. Old pubs are a great start, usually having upstairs bedrooms and the communal/performance/gallery/shooting gallery area of the previous bar.
When scouting for empty buildings look out for certain signs — curtainless windows, scrubby overgrown gardens, boarded up areas, or just the general sense of emptiness. When you’ve spotted a likely spot go for the tried and tested method of sticking some furled up paper as a marker in the letterbox / doorjam. Keep revisiting to see whether the marker has moved, and if it hasn’t gone anywhere in two weeks or so, bingo! You’ve either got an empty or someone’s about to have a fucking horrible surprise when they get back from holiday.
Incidentally the holiday thing pretty much never happens — if you get into a place and its clear that someone lives there still (and its going to be really clear) you’ll want to get out sharpish unless you want the threat of criminal damage proceedings + the knowledge that you’ve made a strangers life a complete and unnecessary nightmare. Despite what the Telegraph may think that’s generally not top of most space reclaimers wishlist.
You’ll often see buildings with the windows and doors covered by large impregnable looking steel sheets. This hateful stuff is called Sitex and is a total hassle to get off from the outside (unless you can access a council Sitex key — the crusty Holy Grail). However, the presence of Sitex guarantees two things – the place is empty, and no ones going to do anything with it for a while. Often councils are lazy and will only Sitex the ground floor. This is great. If you can get up the side of a building and through a window 3on an upper floor then Sitex is a piece of piss to take off from the inside. There’s even a strong argument for not removing the downstairs Sitex at all, in all but one fairly concealed entrance, as it maintains the illusion to the owner that the building is still secure from you and your feral skipdiving buddies.
So, once you’ve found a building you’ll need some or all of the following —
A torch (Maglites are definitely the best)
A crowbar
Any sort of plug that lights up when connected to the mains (some phone / ipod chargers do this, and some extension cables)
Boltcutters
A new Yale lock (barrel and key)
A mini hacksaw
Chains and padlocks (decent ones!)
Screwdrivers + possibly a drill
Thick soled shoes
2 copies of a Section 6 (The legal document that breaks down your rights. You can download one at http://www.squatter.org.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=13&Itemid=30)
AND CRUCIALLY —
Mates who can bring you stuff like food, water and bedding if the place is a winner.
Here are the rules to the game: If you can get in without the law seeing you, change the locks and maintain a presence in the property, then it’s yours until the courts say otherwise.
It’s a fun game and free to play.
So, step one. Getting in. This is hands down the hardest part, but as with most things in this world, persistence pays off. First off try and find any way you can of getting in without breaking anything. This is pretty unlikely, although a ladder on the side of a place can often reveal unlatched windows. It’s more likely your going to have to either break a window, or prise wooden boards off windows/doors with your crow bar.* Some cheeky beggars like to get themselves a fluro tabard and do this sort of thing in broad daylight, under the cover of being a man from the council. Personally I’ve never had the balls for that sort of carry on and am far keener on the cover of darkness. With London being a large anonymous city its amazing what sort of noises you can get away with in the dead of night. The bonus in prising off wooden boarding is that your certain that no ones going to be inside the property (check for fresh looking building materials though! You really don‘t want to bump into a pissed off brickie working nights). If you’re gonna have to break in with more vociferous means then just make sure the place is empty. Then steam on in.
Don’t worry if you can’t get into a place on first attempt, have a couple more goes that night, then just leave it and come back later. Don’t bait yourself up by battering away at your chosen building for hours. You’ve got all the time in the world. Relax.
Hopefully, eventually, you’re in. Smashing. This part is the most fun. There’s nothing like the sneaky thrill of creeping through a long empty time capsule by torchlight. If the floor is covered in shit and it looks like the place has been squatted before then go slowly and keep an eye out for needles (hence the thick-soled shoes). First off try and see if there’s any working electrics. Flicking light switches is no good as the chances are the bulbs will be gone (although not always, in which case, result), so try sticking your plug-with-a-light into whichever plug sockets you find, avoiding any that look mangled. Don’t go doing anything spacky like grabbing bare wires. If the buildings really old, and really knackered, and you’ve got no power you might have a problem. However any relatively new place can be fairly easily reconnected, so don’t worry if there doesn’t seem to be any juice in the house.
While you’re looking around the place get a feel for it. Does it have any sinks? Do the taps work? Are there any toilets and do they flush? Basically is it any good. Personally I’d say that any place that is structurally sound, that has either working electricity or working water, or both, is always a good bet, even if it’s filthy. Dirt can be cleaned, carpets stripped, junk thrown out, walls painted or knocked through, its all part of the joy of the land of do as you please.
If the place seems good then you need to secure your entry point as quickly as possible. There’s a couple of ways to do this. If the building is a big one with the main doors already chained your going to have to boltcut off the existing chains and replace them with your own. Whilst this is fairly easy in principle, and only really requires brute strength, you might want to practice with the boltcutters and some spare chain at home so you can get good and quick at it. Alternatively if you’re feeling a bit Moriarty you can pick padlocks with hair clips and the top of a biro. I mean, I can’t, but the girl here can : http://www.wonderhowto.com/how-to/video/how-to-pick-a-lock-for-beginners-266745/
Pretty informative eh?
Alternatively a more residential property will probably have a cylinder lock. These can be replaced by removing the old barrel (which is the part with the keyhole in) and replacing it with your own. There’s a decent guide to doing this here http://everything2.com/title/Changing+a+Yale+lock. This has proved to be the most useful option for me in a number of properties. There’s nothing like sticking your key in your front door to confer the air of a home owner on a person.
So now if you’re in and you’ve got the lock sorted out, its time to embed yourself. Stick up a Section 6 somewhere visible but unobtrusive on the outside of the property. You don’t have to legally put up a Section 6 for it to have effect, and sometimes putting it up only draws attention to your presence. Do make sure you keep a copy on you though, it’ll give you confidence when dealing with the police/ owners. Get on the phone to your mates and get em to come round with food and warmth and battery powered ipod speakers and candles and bog roll. And get ready for your encounter with the law which will probably happen at some point in the next 24 hours. When the old bill come (and it’s be no means 100% that they will) you have to remember that they will lie to try and get you out. Stick to your guns, tell them you’ve been in the property for a while and it’s your home. Refer them to the Section 6 and in the end they’ll fuck off. It’s not really their problem who’s in the building and it’s best to keep it light hearted when dealing with them. Don’t start spouting your counter culture bullshit, or calling them pig, or making oinking noises or banging on about Ian Tomlinson. As detailed below, you may need them to be on your side in a few hours. Still, don’t open the door to them no matter what they say. Honestly, DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR. If they want it open they’ll just kick it in. If they’re not kicking it in then it’s because they’re not allowed.
Sometimes instead of the police coming down you get the far worse situation of big lairy bastards employed by pissed off landlords, keen to administer a spot of street justice. If they come down with threats to kneecap you or whatever, make sure you’re secure in the building and phone the cops. You’re legally in the right. Most property owners can’t believe it when they get our countries beautiful legal system explained to them, but the fact is they can’t do anything without a court order. God bless England.
Now for the fun part. Once the police know your there, as long as you’re not running the place as a crack house or an all ages absinthe grotto, they’ll leave you alone. If the landlord issues a court order it’s always worth trying to negotiate with them. Sometimes people can get to stay in places for peppercorn (ie nothing) rent, although realistically this is rare. Choose who you’re going to let live with you really, really carefully. Avoid lazy, messy and stupid people, they will only make the process a nightmare. Avoid hippies, they have a terrible aesthetic and tend to paint retarded slogans on the walls, badly. Avoid drug dealers and ketamine addicts. Avoid people who you haven’t known for very long; they will turn out to be thieves. And most of all, avoid Mick Brady, an alcoholic who headbutted me 2 years ago and shat himself on a bus.
* This part of the process isn’t legal, and can be construed as criminal damage, so naturally this article doesn’t condone it, or anything else I might write that is on sketchy ground legally. This piece is just one big jolly with no application to any reality anywhere. You get me.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Nasty McQuaid is a veteran squatter, superstar dj, and is probably the kind of all round solid bloke you’re paranoid Mother thinks you’re going to start hanging around with as soon as you move to London to go to ‘art school’. He ran a shop in New Cross called Rubbish and Nasty for a few years which sold amazing records as well as putting on some fantastic gigs.
